You Don’t Say

The other day I was testing the ripeness of the Haas avocados in a Ralph’s supermarket in Studio City. I was gently squeezing one of the plump, pebbly-skinned fruits, when I heard a male voice ask the grocery clerk, “Where’s your sour cream at?”

The avocado I was squeezing wasn’t ripe, but the grammatical moment sure was.

When did it become commonplace to marry where with at? By definition where means at what place. Tacking on the preposition at to a where question is unnecessary. ”Where is your sour cream? would have been sufficient. (I woud also replace the possessive adjective your with the simple article the, but that’s another posting.)

Am I the only person who knows this? I can’t tell you how many cell phone conversations I have overheard that have included the question, “So, where are you at?” I’ve heard teachers use this collocation when discussing the merits of a particular assessment tool as ”a way of helping us find out where the students are at.”

If you ask me where I’m at, my answer is, “At my wit’s end.”

At Bed, Bath & Beyond the other day, Tony, a, friendly, young clerk, rang up my purchases. He handed me the receipt, and I said “Thank you.” To which he replied, “No problem.”

That response still throws me, because I’m expecting to hear “You’re welcome.” But no problem, like awesome and dude, is part of the jargon, the patois, of a generation. Not my generation, as you may have guessed.

Nevertheless, I have a problem with no problem replacing you’re welcome.

In the first place, any reasonable request I make as a paying customer (not a guest, but that will be the subject of another posting) in a store or restaurant should not be perceived as a problem. That’s what Tony et al are getting paid for—to provide service and respond to my requests. So my thank you when services are rendered is a way of acknowledging that my request has been met and the job has been done properly or adequately. Nothing more, nothing less. Seems to me that the appropriate response is you’re welcome, not no problem.

Much like don’t mention it, no problem suggests that someone has performed a favor above and beyond the call of duty. Bringing a cocktail to the table or ringing up a simple transaction hardly qualifies.

Language is dynamic and reflects a society’s changing attitudes and values. In today’s society, in which flip-flops, a pair of jeans and a T-shirt have become the standard go-anywhere uniform, the lines between formal and informal have been blurred almost beyond recognition. There is little formal social hierarchy anymore, and the message is that we’re all peers. In a world where restaurant servers and grocery store clerks call customers by their first names, you’re welcome may seem too formal. Today’s hyper-casualness demands something more insouciant, something more nonchalant.

I guess that means I’d better get used to no problem. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.